What are the top qualities of your perfect mate?

I take it we’re talking mate as in sexual partner here.

Emotional stability is pretty important for me – someone who understands that I have depression and anxiety and what that means for me and our relationship.
Sexual compatibility I would think goes without saying. I’m kinky and my partner would need to be a Dominant, preferably experienced and we can fulfil each other’s needs.
Geekiness. If I’m spending my life with someone we need to have similar taste in movies and tv – I love being able to curl up on the couch with someone and watch a DVD with them.

What strggle are you happy to have behind you?

In my early-to-mid-20s I was trying desperately to be ‘normal’ aka straight. I’d know I was attracted to women since my mid-teens – holy crap was Scary Spice a sexual awakening! But that wasn’t ‘normal’ so I was in a long-term relationship with a guy, we had a mortgage and were talking about marriage. You know, normal shit. But I was desperately unhappy. I loved him, sure, but I wasn’t <i>in love</i> with him. I wasn’t attracted to him and having sex with him was… well… awful.

I ended up having an affair with my female best friend and realising that yeah, no I really don’t want to be with this guy, I want to be with a woman. I left him and moved back home to my mum.

I’ve had a few relationships since, a couple of sexual partners but for the most part, right now, at least, I’m single. I have been for about 4 years and I’m not looking for a relationship – but if and when the time comes that changes, I do know who and what I’m looking for